{"id":11540,"date":"2026-03-09T12:46:29","date_gmt":"2026-03-09T09:46:29","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.merceknet.com\/tr\/?p=11540"},"modified":"2026-03-09T12:46:29","modified_gmt":"2026-03-09T09:46:29","slug":"prof-dr-nevzat-tarhan-empati-ve-utanma-duygusunun-zayiflamasi-aldatmayi-normallestirdi","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.merceknet.com\/tr\/2026\/03\/09\/prof-dr-nevzat-tarhan-empati-ve-utanma-duygusunun-zayiflamasi-aldatmayi-normallestirdi\/","title":{"rendered":"Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: \u201cEmpati Ve Utanma Duygusunun Zay\u0131flamas\u0131 Aldatmay\u0131 Normalle\u015ftirdi\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u00dcsk\u00fcdar \u00dcniversitesi Kurucu Rekt\u00f6r\u00fc, Psikiyatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, aldatma ve aldat\u0131lma psikolojisine ili\u015fkin de\u011ferlendirmelerde bulundu. Tarhan, modern toplumlarda empati ve utanma duygusunun zay\u0131flamas\u0131n\u0131n aldatmay\u0131 normalle\u015ftirdi\u011fini<\/strong> belirterek, merhamet ve \u015fefkatin ili\u015fkilerdeki belirleyici rol\u00fcne dikkat \u00e7ekti.<\/p>\n

Tarhan, \u201c\u0130nsanlar art\u0131k kendilerine her \u015feyi hak gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcyor. Merhamet duygusu azald\u0131; empati yoksunlu\u011fu artt\u0131. Merhamet sosyal ili\u015fkilerde, \u015fefkat ise yak\u0131n ili\u015fkilerde \u00e7ok \u00f6nemlidir. Bu iki duygunun i\u00e7inde nezaket, empati, sayg\u0131 vard\u0131r. Bunlar zay\u0131flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda aldatma da yalan da, ihanet de artar\u201d ifadelerini kulland\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cAldatma, Bir \u0130hanet Travmas\u0131d\u0131r\u201d<\/h3>\n

Fiziksel aldatma ile duygusal aldatman\u0131n ay\u0131rt edilmesi gerekti\u011fini s\u00f6yleyen Tarhan, duygusal aldatmalar\u0131n g\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczde ciddi bi\u00e7imde artt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirtti. Tarhan, \u201cAldatma, asl\u0131nda bir ihanet travmas\u0131d\u0131r. Ki\u015finin arkadan b\u0131\u00e7aklanm\u0131\u015f gibi hissetti\u011fi her durum sadakatin ihlalidir\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

Aldatman\u0131n temelinde g\u00fcven ve d\u00fcr\u00fcstl\u00fck eksikli\u011fi<\/strong> oldu\u011funu vurgulayan Tarhan, \u201cYalan s\u00f6yleyen ki\u015filer genellikle aldat\u0131c\u0131 oluyor. Aldatman\u0131n karanl\u0131k \u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcs\u00fc vard\u0131r; y\u00fcksek narsizm, d\u00fc\u015f\u00fck d\u00fcrt\u00fc kontrol\u00fc ve y\u00fcksek d\u0131\u015fa d\u00f6n\u00fckl\u00fck. Bu \u00fc\u00e7 \u00f6zellik bir aradaysa ki\u015fi aldatmaya daha yatk\u0131n hale gelir\u201d de\u011ferlendirmesinde bulundu.<\/p>\n

\u201cDerin Pi\u015fmanl\u0131k Hissetmiyorsa Ayn\u0131 Hatay\u0131 Tekrar Eder\u201d<\/h3>\n

Tarhan, aldatma sonras\u0131 s\u00fcre\u00e7te baz\u0131 ki\u015filerin derin pi\u015fmanl\u0131k hissetti\u011fini, baz\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131n ise durumu rasyonalize etmeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015ft\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirtti. \u201cBir insan yanl\u0131\u015f yap\u0131p da derin pi\u015fmanl\u0131k hissetmiyorsa, ayn\u0131 hatay\u0131 tekrar eder. Baz\u0131 ki\u015filer kendilerini kand\u0131rman\u0131n yolunu bulurlar; \u2018zaten ili\u015fkimiz bitmi\u015fti\u2019, \u2018zaten art\u0131k bir \u015fey hissetmiyordum\u2019 derler. Bu zihinsel manevrad\u0131r. Kendisini hakl\u0131 \u00e7\u0131karmaya \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

Affetme s\u00fcrecine dair de Tarhan, \u201cDerin bir pi\u015fmanl\u0131k hisseden ki\u015fiye bir \u015fans verilebilir ama hemen ba\u011f\u0131\u015flamak do\u011fru de\u011fildir. Samimiyet, sorumluluk ve bedel \u00f6deme olup olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131na bak\u0131lmal\u0131d\u0131r\u201d ifadelerini kulland\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cAldat\u0131lan \u0130nsan \u2018Sevilmeye De\u011fer De\u011fil Miyim?\u2019 Diye D\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u0130hanetin benlik sayg\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 do\u011frudan etkiledi\u011fini s\u00f6yleyen Tarhan, aldat\u0131lan ki\u015finin a\u011f\u0131r bir duygusal travma ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 vurgulad\u0131:
\u201cAldat\u0131lan insan \u2018Ben sevilmeye de\u011fer de\u011fil miyim?\u2019 diye d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr ve ciddi bir depresyona girer. Bu travma, ya\u015fam olaylar\u0131 \u00f6l\u00e7e\u011finde en y\u00fcksek stres de\u011ferine sahip olaylardan biridir. Bir\u00e7ok ara\u015ft\u0131rmada e\u015fin aldatmas\u0131, e\u015fin \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnden bile daha y\u00fcksek travma puan\u0131 al\u0131yor.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tarhan, baz\u0131 ki\u015filerin \u201cintikam aldatmas\u0131\u201d davran\u0131\u015f\u0131 g\u00f6sterebildi\u011fini de dile getirerek, \u201cKimi \u2018Sen beni aldatt\u0131n, ben de seni aldat\u0131r\u0131m\u2019 diyerek intikam aldatmas\u0131 yap\u0131yor\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

\u201cEvlilikte Sad\u0131k Kalmak \u0130lkedir\u201d<\/h3>\n

K\u00fclt\u00fcrel kal\u0131plar\u0131n sadakat anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 etkiledi\u011fini belirten Tarhan, \u201cBizim k\u00fclt\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fczde \u2018erkek aldatabilir, kad\u0131n aldatmaz\u2019 gibi yanl\u0131\u015f de\u011fer yarg\u0131lar\u0131 var. Bu iki taraf i\u00e7in de yanl\u0131\u015ft\u0131r\u201d dedi. Tarhan, \u201cEvlilik bir yolculuktur. Yol arkada\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131na sad\u0131k kalmak bir ilkedir. Bunun i\u00e7in fedak\u00e2rl\u0131k ve arzular\u0131 erteleyebilme becerisi gerekir. Evde g\u00fcven ili\u015fkisi olu\u015fursa aile s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak haline gelir. Bug\u00fcn ailelerin s\u0131\u011f\u0131nak olmamas\u0131n\u0131n sebeplerinden biri g\u00fcvenli alanlar\u0131n yok olmas\u0131d\u0131r\u201d ifadelerini kulland\u0131.<\/p>\n

Ba\u011flanma stillerinin \u00f6nemine i\u015faret eden Tarhan, \u201cAldatan ya da aldat\u0131lan ki\u015filerin \u00e7o\u011funda g\u00fcvenli ba\u011flanma yoktur. Kayg\u0131l\u0131, ka\u00e7\u0131ngan veya dezorganize ba\u011flanma stilleri g\u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr. \u0130nsan ili\u015fkisel bir varl\u0131kt\u0131r; beyin tek ba\u015f\u0131na ya\u015famaya programlanmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. G\u00fcvenli ba\u011f kuramad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, ki\u015fi ili\u015fkilerde ya ka\u00e7ar ya da a\u015f\u0131r\u0131 ba\u011flan\u0131r\u201d de\u011ferlendirmesinde bulundu.<\/p>\n

\u201cBirlikte Yemek Yemek Bile \u0130li\u015fki Kalitesini Art\u0131r\u0131r\u201d<\/h3>\n

\u0130leti\u015fimde \u00fc\u00e7 bi\u00e7im oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yleyen Tarhan, \u201csa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 ileti\u015fim, \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmal\u0131 ileti\u015fim ve ileti\u015fimsizlik\u201d ayr\u0131m\u0131 yapt\u0131 ve \u201cEn k\u00f6t\u00fcs\u00fc ileti\u015fimsizliktir\u201d dedi. Tarhan, \u201cE\u011fer evde insanlar birbirine uzatma oynar gibi davran\u0131yorsa, duygusal yat\u0131r\u0131mlar azalm\u0131\u015f demektir. Eve gelince \u2018otelde ho\u015f geldin\u2019 der gibi bir hava varsa, orada g\u00fcvenli ba\u011f kalmam\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. G\u00f6z temas\u0131, k\u0131sa ama nitelikli sohbetler, birlikte s\u0131cak yemek yemek bile ili\u015fkinin kalitesini art\u0131r\u0131r\u201d diye konu\u015ftu.<\/p>\n

Dijital Platformlar: \u201cAldatmay\u0131 Kolayla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131, Gizlemeyi Zorla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u201d<\/h3>\n

Teknolojinin etkisine de\u011finen Tarhan, dijital mecralar\u0131n aldatmay\u0131 kolayla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, ancak izlerin kal\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131 nedeniyle saklamay\u0131 zorla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6yledi:
\u201cDijital platformlar aldatma konusunda \u00e7ok kolayla\u015ft\u0131rd\u0131. Fakat ayn\u0131 zamanda da dijital platformlar\u0131n avantaj\u0131 da oldu. Daha \u00f6nce \u2018yalanc\u0131n\u0131n mumu yats\u0131ya kadar yanar\u2019 diyorduk, \u015fimdi internete kadar yan\u0131yor. Bir insan\u0131n dijital hesab\u0131n\u0131 inceledi\u011finizde \u00e7eli\u015fkilerini, yalanlar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rebiliyorsunuz.\u201d<\/p>\n

Tarhan, e\u015flerin gizlilik davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcveni zay\u0131flatt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 belirterek, \u201cEve geldi\u011finde telefonunu kapat\u0131yorsa bu g\u00fcveni zedeler. G\u00fcven ili\u015fkisi olan bir evlilikte ki\u015fi \u015fifresini gizlemez, telefonu saklamaz. Ama ikinci, gizli bir telefon varsa zaten bu kolay anla\u015f\u0131l\u0131r\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

\u201cKad\u0131nlar Aldatmay\u0131 Daha \u00c7abuk Hissedebiliyor\u201d<\/h3>\n

Tarhan, kad\u0131nlar\u0131n duygusal empati ve okuryazarl\u0131k a\u00e7\u0131s\u0131ndan avantajl\u0131 olabildi\u011fini belirterek, \u201cAldatmayla ilgili \u00f6zellikle duygusal okuryazarl\u0131k kad\u0131n beyninde daha geli\u015fmi\u015ftir. Duygusal empati konusunda erkeklerden birka\u00e7 ad\u0131m \u00f6ndedirler. Onun i\u00e7in aldatmay\u0131 daha \u00e7abuk hissedebiliyorlar. Ama bu his mutlaka do\u011frulanmal\u0131. \u2018Aldat\u0131ld\u0131m\u2019 hissi geldi diye hemen etiketlemek do\u011fru de\u011fil. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o zaman savunma duvar\u0131 \u00f6r\u00fcl\u00fcr. Aldatmay\u0131 anlamak istiyorsak yarg\u0131lamak yerine k\u00f6pr\u00fc kurmam\u0131z gerekiyor\u201d ifadelerini kulland\u0131.<\/p>\n

\u201cAldatma Bir Zincirleme \u0130hmalin Sonucu\u201d<\/h3>\n

Aldatman\u0131n bir anda ortaya \u00e7\u0131kmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 vurgulayan Tarhan, \u201cAldatma bir zincirleme ihmalin sonucudur. \u0130lk hata k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck olur ama ki\u015fi o hatay\u0131 fark edip durmazsa b\u00fcy\u00fck sonu\u00e7lara yol a\u00e7ar\u201d dedi. Tarhan, \u201cD\u0131\u015far\u0131da dola\u015f\u0131rken elimiz mikroplarla temas ediyor; kirlenince hemen y\u0131karsak hastal\u0131k olu\u015fmaz. Ama bekler, iltihap ba\u015flay\u0131nca temizlemeye kalkarsak ge\u00e7 olur. \u0130nsan da hata yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda hemen fark edip vicdani temizlik yaparsa, o hata b\u00fcy\u00fcmez\u201d benzetmesini yapt\u0131.<\/p>\n

Affetme konusunda ise Tarhan, \u201cKimi insanlar hata yapar, pi\u015fman olur ama e\u015fi o hatay\u0131 s\u00fcrekli hat\u0131rlat\u0131r. \u0130kide bir y\u00fcz\u00fcne vurur, d\u00fcrter, ge\u00e7mi\u015fi yeniden ya\u015fat\u0131r. Bu yakla\u015f\u0131m yaray\u0131 iyile\u015ftirmez, kanat\u0131r. Ki\u015fi hatas\u0131ndan ders alm\u0131\u015fsa, art\u0131k o hatan\u0131n \u00fczerinde durmak de\u011fil, o dersi kal\u0131c\u0131 hale getirmek gerekir\u201d dedi.<\/p>\n

\u201cG\u00fcven Temelli \u0130li\u015fkiler Lazer I\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 Gibidir\u201d<\/h3>\n

G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fcz ili\u015fkilerinde s\u0131kl\u0131ktan \u00e7ok niteli\u011fin \u00f6nemli oldu\u011funu belirten Tarhan, \u201cNitelikli ili\u015fkiler, az g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fclse bile g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fcd\u00fcr. B\u00f6yle ili\u015fkilerde iki ki\u015fi 1+1=2 etmez, 1+1=11 eder. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc birbirini tamamlar, g\u00fc\u00e7lendirir. Ayn\u0131 hedefe odaklanm\u0131\u015f, g\u00fcven temelli ili\u015fkiler lazer \u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131 gibidir\u201d de\u011ferlendirmesinde bulundu.<\/p>\n

Tarhan, a\u00e7\u0131klamas\u0131n\u0131 \u201cAldatma sadece fiziksel de\u011fil, manevi bir ihlaldir\u2026 Bu \u00e7a\u011fda en b\u00fcy\u00fck diren\u00e7, ahlaki diren\u00e7tir\u201d s\u00f6zleriyle tamamlad\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Psikiyatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, dijital platformlar\u0131n aldatmay\u0131 kolayla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rken izleri de kal\u0131c\u0131 hale getirdi\u011fini belirterek \u201cDaha \u00f6nce \u2018yalanc\u0131n\u0131n mumu yats\u0131ya kadar yanar\u2019 diyorduk, \u015fimdi internete kadar yan\u0131yor\u201d dedi. Tarhan, aldatman\u0131n \u201cihanet travmas\u0131\u201d oldu\u011funu vurgulad\u0131.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":6,"featured_media":11541,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2535,18],"tags":[4244,4245,2358],"class_list":["post-11540","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-3-bolge","category-saglik","tag-aldatmapsikolojisi","tag-iliskidinamikleri","tag-nevzattarhan"],"yoast_head":"\nProf. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: \u201cEmpati Ve Utanma Duygusunun Zay\u0131flamas\u0131 Aldatmay\u0131 Normalle\u015ftirdi\u201d - Merceknet Haber<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.merceknet.com\/tr\/2026\/03\/09\/prof-dr-nevzat-tarhan-empati-ve-utanma-duygusunun-zayiflamasi-aldatmayi-normallestirdi\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"tr_TR\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan: \u201cEmpati Ve Utanma Duygusunun Zay\u0131flamas\u0131 Aldatmay\u0131 Normalle\u015ftirdi\u201d - Merceknet Haber\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Psikiyatrist Prof. Dr. Nevzat Tarhan, dijital platformlar\u0131n aldatmay\u0131 kolayla\u015ft\u0131r\u0131rken izleri de kal\u0131c\u0131 hale getirdi\u011fini belirterek \u201cDaha \u00f6nce \u2018yalanc\u0131n\u0131n mumu yats\u0131ya kadar yanar\u2019 diyorduk, \u015fimdi internete kadar yan\u0131yor\u201d dedi. 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